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NURTURING DURING THE HOLIDAYS
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December 2005
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Dear Catherine,
Welcome to my first Nurturing Home Newsletter! It is
with great excitement that I launch this newsletter,
especially at the time of the year when we show
others how much they mean to us! Though the
holidays are a rat-race of work, family, shopping, and
for me, baking, there are several things that I do to
make sure that I don’t get too stressed out, and that
my family and I reconnect on many levels.
Catherine Kao
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HOW I NURTURE MYSELF DURING THE HOLIDAYS:
The number one commandment in creating a nurturing
home is TO NURTURE YOU FIRST. If you are feeling
stressed out and cranky, you will increase the stress
that is felt by your family and friends. Plus, you won’t
be able to enjoy the holidays and bond more deeply
with your loved ones.
Many women don’t put themselves first, but it is
important to schedule time for yourself to do
something that rejuvenates your spirit and causes
your creative juices to flow. Some ways that I
rejuvenate:
1. Filling the bathtub with water and scented oil
(almond, coconut, lavender, or rose available from
your local health food store), getting a good book or
magazine, and putting on relaxing instrumental music.
2. Putting on some slippers, brewing a cup of green
tea (sometimes fruit flavored, sometimes plain
depending on my mood. Celestial Seasonings makes
some tasty combinations, or you can get high quality
tea with pieces of fruit from
www.uptontea.com.) and snuggling up on the
couch with a romantic comedy in the DVD player.
3. Meeting one of my girlfriends for dinner and/or a
movie (Chick flicks only). Dinner is important, as it
gives us an opportunity to connect and share our
feelings. Positive relationships with girlfriends are vital
to the health and wellbeing of any woman. Because
we are more emotionally based than men, cultivating
deep relationships with one or two girl friends that
rejuvenate us and share our interests makes us less
emotionally dependent on the men in our lives,
thereby making us more attractive to our men. I have
two girlfriends with whom I share different interests,
whom I meet either weekly or twice monthly.
4. Having a quiet dinner out with my husband. Rather
than always talking about our current life events,
many times we will reminisce about enjoyable times
we’ve spent reconnecting, or I will ask him what he
thinks about something and we will discuss it. I
usually tell him how much I admire and appreciate all
the things that he does every day for me and for our
family. I also make a celebration every time he closes
a major sale, creating income for us. Though we do
spend time on our current life events, concentrating
on these other topics often help us feel closer and
establish more intimacy.
5. Watching a movie with my husband. Of course, it
is never a chick flick, but I try to rent something that
we both like.
6. Meeting my son for lunch or a movie. Since he
recently moved out of the house into his own place,
this is an especially good time for us to reconnect.
Sometimes his girlfriend Dana comes along (which is
also wonderful).
7. Going to my monthly local writer’s group meeting
and singing in "Arts Alive" an open mic night for
performers that my girlfriend and I set up and sponsor
monthly at a local coffee shop. It gives artists a safe
environment to perform their work, whether they be
amateur or professional, and after a 20 yr. drought,
has me singing again to the delight of my friends and
family.
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Some other ways to nurture and rejuvenate yourself:
- Have a good girlfriend over for coffee,
chai, or
wine. Send hubby to spend some bonding time with
the boys. Rent a good chick flick, or just chat.
- Call up a girlfriend and go to a bead
shop to
create some unique jewelry. Most bead shops have
template designs and are very helpful, so don’t worry
if you have never done it before. This is a good way
to rejuvenate and create unique gifts for others,
while bonding with your girlfriend, all at the same
time!
- Take your man (or a girlfriend) to
Barnes and
Nobles or Borders bookstores for a coffee, tea, or
chai and a relaxing chat or browse through books.
Sometimes when I am very frazzled, the quiet peace
of a bookstore will calm and rejuvenate me.
- Take a walk in nature. My backyard is
an oasis
in the middle of the city. My cat and I walk together.
While I laugh at her antics, I pull a few weeds from
the garden and fill my soul.
- Take a nap. There is nothing more
decadent
than a midday nap. Nothing more refreshing, either.
- Learning to play an instrument. If you
don’t
worry about who will hear you practice, it can be
revitalizing.
- Taking a pottery, scrapbooking,
photography,
or other crafty class. Hobbies are by definition those
activities that rejuvenate us.
- Inviting a girlfriend or family member
over to
bake cookies or to cook a meal. This way you share
the work, have a good time, and another thing is
crossed off your holiday list. You may want to split
the cost of the ingredients if you are going to split
the cookies.
While you may be shaking your head and saying that
you don’t have time for any of this, that you already
have too much to do, let me give you a datum: IF
YOU DON’T SCHEDULE SOMETHING THAT IS
IMPORTANT TO YOU, THEN YOUR SCHEDULE WILL
FILL ITSELF.
In this newsletter, I have shared the importance of
nurturing yourself as well as given you some tips to
get started. Nurturing yourself is the first step in
nurturing the loved ones in your life. When you feel
happy, it is easier to be interested in others. Special
gestures that are made to others during the holidays
are often very meaningful, as it is the special
occasions (holidays and birthdays) that tell others
how much they mean to us. Many times we get so
caught up in the day to day grind that we forget to
acknowledge how special others are in our lives. This
is really what nurturing is all about.
I hope this has helped you on your nurturing journey!
Please forward this newsletter to anyone who you
feel may benefit from its information. Look for my
next newsletter for more tips on creating a Nurturing
Home.
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